Friday, January 31, 2014

And now it's time to say goodbye...

Today, I walked in my office building as an employee for the last time. I handed over my company property and walked out feeling a little bit untethered. Like I do so often, I wished that I could take a picture with my eyes, to capture things exactly how I see and feel them. I tried to commit every detail to memory, or at least to my phone's camera roll. I wanted to save the scene for later, when I wanted to visit it again, but needed to move through the moment quickly before I broke down in tears. I made it to my car before the ugly crying started. 

I hate leaving a place that I know so well, thinking, "this will be the last time I ever see this view from this perspective", as someone who belonged. I know myself, and it hurts me a little to return to places where I've belonged when I don't belong any more, after I've moved along.

It's a hard place to leave. I am telling myself that I'm lucky that I had the chance to do that and now I have the chance to do this, too. 

And it's been wonderful so far. At home, with my sweet girls, I don't miss the office routine at all. 

January was a month of transition, I was splitting my time between organizing my work files and organizing our house. There's still a bit to do but the house, and my heart, feel a bit lighter, more open. Ready for this new life. 

So here it goes!

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